About Me

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I was conceived by Scotish/Irish immigrants some odd years ago in a rural town in South Carolina. My childhood consisted of my two older brothers beating me over the head with a cold, steel frying pan and my mother screaming at me to pick up the garsh-darn micro machines. After that, I seemed to develop a bit of a deep hatred for Native Americans. Additionally, I mistakenly courted a woman who happened to already be taken. Turns out marriage licenses DO matter. Lastly, I'd like to point out that no one should cross me, for I am officially 13-0 in duels. Unofficially I've won hundreds, maybe thousands. I SWEAR IT.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Festo - A Cache with 100 Untraceable Bullets and Legal Imuunity? No Big Deal......And Other Stories

So, I recently finished the acclaimed graphic novel series entitled, 100 Bullets, written by Brain Azzarello and illustrated by Eduardo Risso, and if I may say so, it was brilliant, start to finish, with gritty, realistic writing from Azzarello and in-your-face, harrowing art from Risso.

The story is based on a single premise: you've been terribly wronged in your life, and you don't quite know why, yet a man comes to you with a briefcase in hand and years of anguish marked on his face in wrinkles and sobriety. He tells you that he knows why your life has gone to shit. He tells you that in his briefcase is proof. He tells you that one person is responsible for your hardship. And in that briefcase is a handgun and 100 bullets that are entirely untraceable. So, do you take his briefcase, exact your revenge, and attempt to rebuild your life? Or do you deny the opportunity, live with the knowledge for the rest of your life, and rebuild honorably, thinking karma may be a major player?

These are some of the major themes of 100 Bullets, yet as you read, we are shown how deep this world truly goes, with backstabbing, drugs, murder, and mayhem as its cornerstones. We are introduced to a war between families that reaches back centuries and tells us our suited man and briefcase may not be as noble as initially represented. And we see players on both sides of the war, with differing motives, styles, and most notably, temperaments.

I'd recommend this read for anyone who'd be interested in a true-to-form crime drama, built on the foundations of stellar characterization. The graphic novels are sold in 13 installations, although the original series was released as 100 individual comics. I'd say go get yourself one of the graphic novel collections first (it doesn't have to be the first edition; I myself read the 7th installation first and found it even more intriguing because I only knew a small piece of the puzzle). Anyway, certainly go grab yourself a copy, dive in, and be prepared for a nonstop ride full of bloodshed, innuendo, and intrigue and two-timers, gangsters, and suits, all with a stake in the game and the trigger finger to exact their agenda.

Otherwise, I've started on the graphic novel series, The Sandman, by Neil Gaiman, which is another critically acclaimed story with some seriously dark undertones. Other recommended reading at this point would be anything from Charles Bukowski, Hunter S. Thompson, and Bret Easton Ellis. In fact, I'm looking forward to reading Ellis' recent release and sequel to Less Than Zero, Imperial Bedrooms. Happy reading to all!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Festo - A Year and a Half and Other Stories


Hell, it's been a long while since my last post (approximately 1 year, 6 months, and 14 days), and let me tell you, I've done some shit. I've seen some shit, man. I've killed babies. Well, not exactly. I'm not returning from Vietnam or anything, although in the time I've neglected this page, I have been living life, and that's enough experience for me. I returned from my Air Force training in August of 09, picked up a full-time job in the corporate world while doing the reservist thing, and have been getting shitty while wasting my money on women and booze in the subsequent 11 months. What more could a little boy want in life? Maybe some bitches from a rap video ('cause who doesn't like bitches from a rap video), a sponsorship from Miller Lite (I have literally spent tens of thousands of dollars on you, Miller Lite, and I think it's time I reaped some benefits; I'm practically a shareholder), and the next great novel. Yes, these three things would be nice, and I'm fairly certain that if I pray hard enough to baby Jesus, I'll get them. Anyway, that's been the life since the hiatus, love it or hate it, take it or leave it. The bottom line is: I'm probably getting more pussy than you, so if you want to think about my escapades when you masturbate, I'm not going to hold it against you.

Now that I'm done telling you about how cool I am, or wish I was, we can get on to the next few things on the agenda, first being my scrapping of a couple sections of The MannyFesto. I'm tossing Dispatched, the Skinny Post, and any other garbage idea that may have passed for a headliner before out of the window, off my property, off my damn street, and out of the damn country, like an illegal immigrant with a rap sheet. Sorry, Pedro, but you like to rape little girls, get drunk, AND crash your 93 Miata into American taxpayers, killing them in the process? And we want to hold you here for a fair trial? No dice, compadre, get your ass back to El Salvador and suck on some corn on the cob or some shit. And that's what I think of the segments Dispatched and The Skinny Post; they can get out of town and catch a train, or I'll be waiting with my super-sweet Easton metal tee-ball bat that I keep behind my door in case some rowdy bitch has something to say at 4 in the morning. Nevertheless, I'm leaving The Festo and The Popcorn Editorial on the table because that's what God has chosen for me, and when I say God, I mean that ham sandwich I ate for lunch that somehow reminded me to come revamp the Festo and get on that keyboard grind again.




Lastly, I'd like to point out a little something that I've taken the pleasure of endorsing: National Novel Writing Month, abbreviated NaNoWriMo. It's a rather substantial community of writers that has been convening for 11 years now and growing in the process, and each November, they challenge anyone and everyone to write 50,000 words (175-page novel) in 1 month. You're allowed to brainstorm as much as you'd like, but writing any part of the novel is expressly forbidden before November 1st. I, myself, am entirely intrigued by this gathering and will be participating this November for their 12th year. I'd urge anyone with an itch to write, even if you had an idea for a story at just one time in your life, to join the fun. Certainly, check out the website, nanowrimo.org, for more info and to browse the forums, which are teeming with hilarious material. So, until next time, this is me signing off. I'll see you when we catch eyes as I'm railing your mother.