Cheese and Krakens

By the above picture, you can deduce that I'm referring to the movie, Clash of the Titans, which I just recently saw for the first time. Frankly, it's cheesy, through and through, seemed like it had a poor editing effort, and maybe even too small of a budget for the subject matter at hand. Essentially, it bit off more than it could chew. The film did, however, have some redeeming qualities, and I can definitively say that the mythology behind it all is generally pretty cool, for lack of a better term. My overall thoughts on the movie are as follows...

• I wish the producers took an even more grandiose approach. Yes, at first glance, this may seem like a GARGANTUAN project as is, and it actually is ($125 million budget) due to its solid cast, its special effects, and its artistic developments, BUT with that said, it probably could've used a Lord of the Rings approach. Dare I say that there is definitely enough material here for a trilogy? Dare I say that they could've also thrown some more money at this project? I'd say the effects were mediocre at best; Clash of the Titans could've certainly used a boost in this department. And how about a team of writers to expand the movie into a true blockbuster? A little more cash here could've helped exponentially at the box office. And I'm not an idiot; a trilogy is a heck of an undertaking, and no one could legitimately expect LoTR returns at the box office, yet the movie was only 1 hour 40 minutes long and some "key" characters were killed off, while the audience was left without any affection for them at all. It could've used some more meat on its bones, so to speak. At least give the audience a 2 1/2 hour event. I mean, it was supposed to be epic, wasn't it? Well, I didn't necessarily feel that way throughout, and that problem falls on the producers and trickles down to the director. Period.


• The mythology is AWESOME. We see some great storylines here: the need for the Gods to feel the love of the human they created, the ever-present feud between Zeus and Hades, the demi-god Perseus and his quest to avenge his family's death, the people of Argos defying the Gods, the fellowship between the warriors of Argos, Perseus, and the Djinns, and the battles against various mythological creatures, including giant scorpions and namely, the Kraken. There is some serious material here, and it goes largely underutilized. That's not to say someone like me couldn't get excited when seeing a giant scorpion, a Djinn made of wood, or a goddamn Kraken. That was all enthralling but I was still left wanting more.


• Let's talk Kraken. First of all, the only other time I had seen a Kraken on film was in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (which has some noteworthy mythology as well; that's a whole other bag of chips, however), and I have to admit, I was a little disappointed in their depiction of the Kraken. I guess it was a little more classic - more sea-monster-esque, more Jules Verne, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, more tentacle than brute force and muscle - version of the Kraken. I got NONE of that sentiment when I saw this Kraken. My initial impression was that this was quite possibly the coolest movie monster ever on film. And I can stand by that statement to this day. YET, once again, Clash of the Titans came up short in its usage of the Kraken. I needed this thing to come out of the water and be ready to inflict some pain. I mean, it had fists the size of elementary schools for Christ's sake. It could've been doing some work on some dudes. And like I said, it merely flashed itself on screen, and before we knew it, it was turned to stone by Medusa's gaze. The two problems were obvious: it needed more screentime, and it needed to be more lethal. That's what I need in a Kraken.

So, I wouldn't say it was a complete waste of time, but Clash of the Titans fell short in many ways. I hope someone with some balls gets a hold of the rights to it in 20 years and puts a real epic together. I just recently watched Kung Fu Panda for the first time, and I'd even consider that more epic. And that's how I'll end this post: Jack Black as a panda: Thumbs up, Underutilized Kraken: Thumbs Down.